I have been violated in every way imaginable. This isn’t hyperbole, it’s a fact. An American man – a man of faith. There are people in this world who want to destroy you BECAUSE you care. I’m not complaining. I’m not even going to explain it. I just know – I’ve seen it and I’ve gone all the way to the bottom because I was trying to make a difference. That really must be the point, destroy the person before they can make a difference. I don’t have much hope for humanity. There are decent people of course. And I make an effort to be positive. But I’m totally destroyed. I still have to get up, get out there and make a living. I’m threadbare and broken. I think that’s what they wanted. If you want to be a leader you need to make sure you’re safe first. People will break you on purpose. I can’t even comprehend the motivation other than just contempt for life. People who enjoy creating pain and chaos. Are they born this way or are they transformed. And it is some kind of creator that would create beauty and pain at the same time. What thing creates itself and creates its own destruction? Abstractly, the willfulness of the human animal to destroy itself. There is no force to stop it from happening, none that I know. All you can do is steer clear of the danger, and that is the thing that one would need to teach or be taught. How to be safe. We cannot liberate humanity. It will be consumed by itself, and on some level that really must be what creation is destined to be. I made the choice to be good, to know good. To decide for myself what is right and wrong. But I fight every part of myself that would take pleasure in the destruction of another. Even when they’ve hurt me. I simple choose not to be engaged in it any more. My path led me to a terminal place. Isolation, pain and despair. That is something, to have been created for an experience like this, and to have fought for my humanity. I am imperfect and I was thrown down. But the spiritual truth I discovered is what I live for, and I am this man for others who know the terror. I lost – I search for another clinging to hope, who needs me too.