Reality

The world is a certain way – and you can benefit from knowing the way things work. It helps to navigate, like having a map. At the same time there are always situations outside the norm. In that case, one should also learn not to be upset when things don’t work the way you think they will. Trauma is often the reason people are creative. You get creative to escape loss or pain. And it’s also true that trauma will often knock you off the norm. I didn’t get the same support as you, therefore I’m more, whatever than you. I’m speaking here about romantic ideas. So if you’re talking about men and women, nothing is absolute. Throw philosophy into the mix and all the the sudden things become even more complex because now the norm is thrown off by theory. I should be more this way…or women are looking for this, so I should change. But here, now the expectations are even more varied, and the outcomes. I could tell you I’m sensitive and empathetic, but if I can’t show it, and you’re projecting a lot, our perceptions won’t even be the same. As a result we don’t all need the same things, and the same things don’t always mean the same things to different people. That’s why communication is so important. But the more negative experiences you have, the more you may react in a negative way to a situation. In my life, I got really knocked loose. I didn’t have support and I was trying to do too much and while I was good at doing certain things I was really misguided about other things. At this point in my life, I really need to just move on from the mistakes I made. It’s hard because I care, and I care because I’m attached. At the center of this is the ability to take rejection – you have to like yourself enough to move on from someone not liking you. It’s important not to let philosophy get in the way here. You have to be a good navigator, you have to have an inner strength. And when you’re hurt enough you can’t even get enough support to compensate for the trauma. I moved around a lot and tried to escape a lot. At the heart of this was just being lonely. Not having someone to talk to, ask questions with. So I made mistakes. I did things that didn’t seem normal and I got rejected. It traumatized me further. I had to get help, I had to stop escaping. And I had to change my beliefs, both about what people are like and also about how what I was doing was affecting other people. Because I kept ending up alone. There was a time I was OK. So I’m trying to get back to that place and I’m trying to make conscious decisions about how to not be lonely. There was something wrong with my map. I’m an artist, as advertised. A damn fine one, you see what I’m saying?