Boy have I made some bad decisions for the right reasons. Gotta start whipping out my nuts or I’m gonna die alone.
The answer is – motion.
Don’t give yourself to these people
Do it for yourself – do it for the boy you were
You do it to survive – to be the only
Beautiful thing left in the world
It’s not worth the fight
Pick something easy
Do it with a smile on your face
Cry into your hands at night
It gets worse every day
It’s uglier and simpler
Don’t believe in man
Don’t believe in her
They lie to your face
And then turn away
Will not care if you die
Don’t believe in something pure
Don’t do it friends, don’t
They won’t give it to a man
Dreams are for the rich, boys
How will you make it one more day
Alone, pretend. Silence the talk
It’s only talk it’s just illusion
There is no one else but you
See what it takes
To be one of the greats
Disgrace, stay away from me
Fair weather friends, stay
I am unhappy to see your face
I’m a hippy living in the woods
Check your privilege, bitch
You see, equality?
The point of being a good person isn’t to be thought of as a good person. It’s to do good in the world. There is nothing between your thoughts and the greater mind you can hide, and so any conceit about it gets in the way of the true purpose. Do you want to be a leader? It’s about what you lead to – not about you. You use your capacity to take people from one point to another. It’s about their level, not yours. If you’re going to make a difference, you have to find it inside yourself. True acceptance – for your own capacity and for those who harmed you. Move past it – it’s over. Nobody cares, after all. If they did, they’d be here with you. And if you’re doing it for the right reasons, the mistakes you made are teachable. You have to forgive yourself and offer yourself the same compassion you’d want to give and to receive. You have to receive it from yourself in order to finally transform. Any transformation in the world comes from personal transformation. Any leadership in the world comes from selfless giving. Give what you can when you’re finally ready by setting a good example. It’s very hard to live without desire, particularly in such a transactional society. Yet, in the very spirit of the thing, you should not expect anything in return. That is not the point of sacrifice. It truly is the practice that matters. The end of life is a mystery. Any inner peace you may wish on another you must have in order to teach. Loss transforms into strength. If you’re on the path, the harm becomes trivial. You lose the connection of individual achievement to ego death.
If you want a life with less pain, do what works. There are plenty of avenues to make yourself useful. Having success in art is incredibly rare. You need talent, you probably need to be attractive, you’ve got to work hard, you’ve got to get lucky. You need to have courage, you need to have patience. Delusion will sustain you through the worst of it – but, at some point in time – you will need to come to realize that your truest need is to connect. This desire came from trauma – to be like the illusion, because the truth hurts. Neglect, abuse – and you’re throwing yourself into a place where people WANT to doubt you. In spite of obvious talent, they pick on the parts of you that are failing. That is human nature – weak harming weak. The healthy will abandon you. Your search is not healthy. Be good – your goodness is the grounding you need in recovery. Because at some point in time – after all you’ve sacrificed, you need to just be appreciative of what you have left. A simple life. Reading books, talking to people. Having a job where you’re helpful. If you’re reaching for the stars you will still need to be content with the fact that you’re human and undoubtably earthbound. If your game is built entirely on conceit the inevitable fall will be unsustainable. Your looks will fade. Your next record will bomb. You must come to see that accolades of individual achievement are impossible without community. You are facing overwhelming odds – don’t expect sympathy when you’re trying to excel. The work is the statement at the end of your life. Be OK with it ending up in the landfill. Critics are trash looking to cash in. At least you make things.
I experienced something beyond explanation. I wanted to help but it led to rejection. Why should you concern yourself with helping people who don’t believe in the impossible? A lack of love is what makes this world static. Belief in the possibilities is what makes the world grow.
People who harm others for personal gain never seem to realize that it only creates a moment for themselves (worse, trauma for another), whereas empowering another creates the future. They seem to think they won, but yet, the gains will always slip away. It’s a matter of perspective – whether you can see the whole of history, the whole of the present moment – the scope of a lifetime. Dignified and careful interactions create harmony. Harmony creates trust. Trust creates strength. You practice self-control to overcome baseness, and you do this to share power. You share power because it keeps you safe.
Experiencing unkindness will teach you who is worth your time. The future is created now – but only share with those who deserve it – that is, those who choose to do no harm. This is not something you can jump in and out of – it is not something you do on a sliding scale. To do otherwise is to be unlike the Truth. After all, the answer came for you alone. Many, many lonely souls.
Questions are the seeds of time.
A place past loss, contempt, anger – gratitude. People don’t hold true to their own values. It’s human nature. Enjoy good times when you can, they won’t last. Regret is a waste of what little power you possess.
Lie down on the floor if you’re DTF.
I have more sensuality in my pinky finger
than your entire high school football team.
It’s been interesting to see who can say what in American society. Who is allowed to be a victim and who is not. The liberal bias is a collection of cross-checks within a groupthink mentality. In order to be allowed to speak your mind you have to surrender your pathos, and in the process, make yourself vulnerable. When certain people get ahold of your tragedy they hold it up and use it to shame you, alternatively, behind your back and sometimes even to your face. But these laughs are always at the behest of a decider. So, you can observe a fool laughing at your pain – follow their eyes to see who they are trying to impress. Or simply, trying to please themselves. It doesn’t work so well one on one.
It’s beyond most people’s reason to consider what horrors you may have endured if you hold up a front of strength. If you don’t make sense, they try to tear you down, almost never to empower you. That is, until the groupthink holds you up. A single, strong individual walks this line and after a lifetime of censure – sees the cues of who is saying what behind their back and can begin to assume the reasons why. It’s an effort on the part of the individual to be understanding, offer compassion to the mean-spirited. To understand why. They assume you are something. Yet, you are sentience – like them. Consciousness itself. They are not intelligent enough for self-awareness. Identity is a construct of the visible.
The true life of a person is much larger. It’s the total experience of the mind, through time. You can begin to see who is really alive by their eyes. Practice inaction. There’s a reticence, to move slowly, and to see – like an animal who is friend or foe. In this game, there are no victors. It’s fam. When you judge, you lose. What you’re losing out on is love. You’re losing your friend.
It’s a lonely world for creative thinkers.